A Manifesto of Monotony

If you had tuned in to the San Francisco installment of gogoray.net you might remember a little band called The Brockly Tacos. Though now defunct, the Tacos are remain one of my favorite cartoon metal bands, as well as an awesome bunch of guys. Tommy “P-dubs” Meehan, Luis, and Gaelon have run off to LA in pursuit of music and girls in bikinis, leaving Seany-poo and Kool-aid all alone in the North Bay. Now Tommy has drawn three new characters into his musical comic strip in the form of LA’s Razzle Blaster.

Razzle Blaster can only be described as new. They blend death metal screams and grunts, energetic driving drums, melodic bass, and adventurous, intricate guitar with techno beats and sampling. The music can loosely be described as metal, but that genre robs Razzle Blaster of their uniqueness in style and fundamental execution. I can honestly say that I’ve never heard anything like this.

Now, I’d like to qualify that by saying that I don’t really listen to metal at all. It’s just not my style of music, sorry dudes! But I will say that it takes an enormous amount of talent to play any style of metal well. Any asshole with an acoustic guitar and a set of bongos can start a band. But to really play drums, guitar, and bass in a metal band takes artistry. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Tommy is an artist. He’s a buddy, I used to boss him around at work, but I’m still in awe of that kid when he has a guitar in his hands.

I love Anthony Bourdain. I love everything about him. He’s a rude, crude, heavy drinking, food loving, old punk writer and chef. I live for his show on the Travel channel. Most travel shows don’t really appeal to me. I’m not into the touristy thing. I don’t wear fanny packs, wear tourist t-shirts (like my dad’s “Bahstun” shirt he bought in front of the old North Church and immediately changed into in the men’s room at the visitor’s center), or have an albatross of a digital camera hanging around my neck. When I travel I like to stay with friends and honestly experience the town I’m visiting. To me Boston isn’t about the North End and and visiting Harvard for me. It’s about karaoke bars near Faneuil Hall, watching the St. Patrick’s Day parade from a living room along the parade route in Southie, and lots of beer. Baltimore is not the inner harbor, it’s corned beef, crab-feeds, and old Jewish people. Seattle isn’t Starbucks and the spaceneedle, it’s a vegetarian restaurant near Capitol Hill and hole in the wall punk shows. This is how Anthony travels. He doesn’t go to the hot new hotel, bar, or restaurant. He hits up the dive bars and eats lunch in somebody’s kitchen. He drinks champagne out of a jelly jar in the back woods of South Carolina, stands under a waterfall in a tiny spiritual village in Japan, eats at taco stands on the Mexican border, and is brave enough to sample the drink of choice in a small amazon village, a beverage made when the women in the village chew the meat of a local root vegetable and spit into a jug allowing the saliva and root juice to ferment, yum. Some of the exotic locales he favors don’t really appeal to me. For instance, I’ve never been interested in visiting Asia, or New York oddly enough. But watching him running around Japan, Thailand, and Singapore having a ball, I’m slowly changing my tune. I’m not sure what I’m doing for my next vacation, maybe Israel this summer. All I know is I want to travel like Bourdain. Give me a dive bar, cheap and delicious local food, and great conversation with real people and I’m good.

Becoming Jane - August 10th

I have a fetish for guys with accents, specifically UK accents. If you are from England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, Australia, New Zealand, whatever and you have a penis then chances are pretty high that I’d have sex with you. I think that because I have a uterus I’m required to like guys with accents. It’s unavoidable. I met this Irish girl a few weeks ago and we were talking about how hot guys with accents are. Even she can’t escape it and she’s fucking from there! She said her favorite are Welsh guys. Personally I have a thing for Scots.
This whole “I have a uterus” thing also means that I’m genetically required to love Jane Austen movies; even stuff loosely based on Jane Austen novels (i.e. Clueless). So how happy was I when I saw the trailer for Becoming Jane. It’s about her struggle to balance being a writer and a woman in 1795. And best of all it stars my new Scottish lover James McAvoy!! (Right now just picture me with shrugged shoulders and an ear to ear grin.)
This isn’t the type of movie review that you are used to reading on this schizophrenic fuck-fest of a website. It’s not about Italian zombies, and I can’t actually review the movie because I haven’t seen in yet. Screw you; I know what you’re thinking “what the hell is she reviewing it for if she doesn’t know a thing about it.” We’ll I don’t care. I’ll give my opinion and you’ll like it. I think it’ll be great. It has everything I need: the struggle for women’s rights, love dilemmas, cryptic British prose, and a sexy scot. So go see Becoming Jane this weekend and tell them Amy said so.

Do you want to know what I’ve been listening to lately? Yeah, I know it’s trite, but I couldn’t think of another way to show you what I’m all about. So pay a-freakin-tention!

Young Folks - Peter Bjorn & John
Ok, I know this is all over the radio right now but its a really great song. I’ve actually been really surprised to see all of this mainstream media attention for this band. The song has a disco pop beat mixed with subdued indie vocals. Throw in a catchy whistle and romantic chorus and you’ve got a hit!

Queen Bitch - David Bowie
The best (and only) thing in The Life Aquatic that I liked were the Portugese covers of David Bowie songs. Thats because Bowie is so good that he works in any language. Queen bitch is one of those songs that can meld with any genre of music. Its old but doesn’t sound old. It’s pop but not too poppy to be considered uncool. Its catchy but not annoying. Its danceable but not disco. Its just an awesome fucking song.

Yr Mangled Heart - The Gossip
I’m a sucker for a girl singer who sounds assertive. So many indie singers these days sound like meek little kittens. The gossip is one of the only bands out there with a lead singer who can keep her indie cred, sound like she could kick your ass, and retain her femininity. Yr mangled Heart is a soulful, pissed off pop song with a danceable beat and hummable chorus. Perfect break-up song.

Talk of the Town - Shoplifting
I don’t know about you, but I don’t think there’s enough songs out there about male rape. All I really have to say is that this band is amazing live and it’s a shame that every time I mention this band to people they don’t know who I’m talking about.

Spit Shine Your Black Clouds - The Blood Brothers
I first saw this band at a small club in Seattle in 2000. They are a hard driving punk band with falsetto vocals, but its not all screaming and three chord formulas. There is a melodic texture to their song composition. Their style changes slightly on each track showing off their obvious musical talent. Yeah, this song is definitely more mellow and dancy (is that a word?) than the rest of their catalog but I think it’s a good intro to the band. If you don’t like anything else they do you’ll probably still like this song, and that will make me happy.